Facing Firstmeal   Leave a comment


When Taco Bell announced that it would be serving breakfast, I… had mixed feelings.  I really don’t like fast food for breakfast.  I’d rather have a banana or some toast, and if it’s going to be bigger than that I like it to be home made.  And even then, I have crazy standards for breakfast foods.  Most breakfast sausage is way too greasy for me, and I’m crazy picky about bacon being crispy (some say that my bacon is “burned”, but these people are mistaken.)  Even when the bacon can be crispy enough, the nitrates (or something) in it can give me a headache if I’m not careful.  And eggs are especially problematic: the wrong texture or temperature, and I just can’t bring myself to eat them.  They’ve really gotta be piping hot for me.  About the only “safe” breakfast food for me is the humble pancake (or sometimes its noble companion the waffle) and even that can be a tough sell sometimes.

Oh, and let’s not forget the drinks.  Suitable breakfast drinks include orange juice, some other juice, or water.  I’m slowly (very slowly) building a tolerance for milk.  Coffee drinkers tell me that it’s an acquired taste.  I don’t know why they chose, of their own volition apparently, to acquire THAT particularly unpleasant taste, but they did.  That’s a topic for another post, however.

McDonalds has had their breakfast menu available since, if my web searching is correct, 912 AD, approximately six centuries before Columbus became the most recent person to discover the New World.  I try not to eat at McDonald’s very often, but when the situation forces my hand I’m willing to try it, and I had a good emergency breakfast menu in my mind for McDonald’s.  Generally, a sausage biscuit, hash brown and orange juice (even though they charge a ridiculous amount for their orange juice) is what I work with.

Now, I found myself in the unusual situation of being able to sample some Taco Bell stuff for breakfast.  I was originally dismissive, but ultimately caved in and gave it a try.

The first impression was an unfortunate one: like McDonald’s, Taco Bell has chosen to charge an arm and a leg (by which I mean, a little bit of pocket change) for meals that get upgraded to have orange juice.  Coffee drinkers get their beverage for a cheaper price (I’m tempted to say “Because they’re just that desperate to give the stuff away” but I know in my heart that’s not true.)  I relented and picked the “soft drink” option that gave me an iced tea.

I tried the breakfast crunchwrap then, and came to a startling realization: the crunchwrap is a good way of storing heat for short periods of time.  The grilling process has always been good at that sort of thing, and it shouldn’t have been a surprise.  But the end result is that the eggs were actually not disgusting.

Now, I can’t stress enough how easy it is for me to be repulsed by eggs made by fast food chains.  Something about the crunchwrapping process overcame what I expected to be an impossible hurdle.  With that little obstacle resolved… well, there was nothing for it but to enjoy the rest of it as much as I could.

Ultimately? It was okay.  Not great.  I mean, this is a fast food chain preparing breakfast items.  There were many, many things that I would’ve changed if I could.  But in the future, if I’m up during the breakfast hours and have a choice between a Taco Bell on the way to where I’m going and a McDonald’s on the way to where I’m going?  I might just try it again and see what else they have.

You got lucky, Taco Bell.  You’ve earned the possibility of another visit.  …but, ya know, don’t count on it.


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